sooo

i have been gone from tn for going on over a month now. i left just to have a break and clear my head. it turned into a divorce. funny thing. i can't seem to find a husband that won't try to own me. yes john i said that and you can think what you want. i can bet anyone 10 bucks he will im or email or call and bitch about this post. but to be quiet honest i don't care. i am sick of hiding how i feel. i am not saying that this isn't partly my fault but when i came down here it was cause i needed to figure things out. while up there i had alot of pressure to rush and do it his way. i am sorry but i am my own person and have my own feelings. i control my life not anyone else. everyone else is a factor on my life but not what controls it. i am sick of everyone around me with maturity issues. and that means everyone around me. why can't people grow up away from the highschool drama?
oh on a good note. i have a part time job which i actually enjoy quiet a bit! i am working everyday but sat. sun. and i spend those days with taylor. she is the center of my world and that is how it is going to stay. my car needs some work but i will get it done. its an old car and needs maintance work. oh well right. taylor is calling me mama now!!!!! wooohoooooo she says it!!!!!!!!!! she is in cloth diapers fully. my mom will put a dispoise on her. while i am at work but i change her when i get in. since i put her in full cloth she has no more rash. i have a horrid chest cold but can't afford to see the doctor right now. wish i could. we are hoping it doesn't go any further then just a chest cold. i am working on putting taylor fully on a sippy cup. and starting to wheen her off her paci. she is really moving more here. she is like all over the place!!!!! she is so big. when i can i will try to upload pics. i am staying true to my wedding band. even thou we both know its over. i just can't bare to remove it. it hurts to much. i love him. i always will. but i can't live with him. sigh. things are rather strange right now. i will update more as it comes to me. sorry for the sucky grammar.


HUGS TO ALL